(In which irony is all over the place and multiplication seemed to be more than a fundamental mathematical operation.)
***
My best buddy (BF) and her brother Revo, have been my constant mates in doing routinary things every Saturday after school – strolling around the mall, eating almost the same food at almost the same spots, walk to the FX terminal and talking and laughing about random things.
I have been used to hearing them talk about mangas. It’s an alternative topic for my best friend’s glorifying speech about Gil Ofarim, on which I prefer the former. Okay, he is hot. But you don’t want to see BF feigning to faint from extreme elation at the sound of his name. Think about high school girls swooning over a campus crush. . . You got it.
But last night, I got myself involved. We were talking about mangas – hentai mangas. Much as I don’t want to disappoint you, I need to make it clear as early as now that I didn’t initiate the conversation. And no, I am not being defensive.
As we were patiently waiting in line for the vehicle that will lend comfortable seats for our aching backs, we exchanged titles of ecchi and hentai mangas as well as the sites where thy can be found. Honestly, I was surprised that they know so much. Talking about senseis eh? The flow of the conversation doesn’t even have the slightest touch of guilt or shame despite the occasional, surprised, suspicious looks we get from passers-by and people in line ahead or behind us at the sound of sentences like:
“Almost all mangas are sex-oriented. I usually feel strange when I stumble upon one that isn’t.”
“I get tired of reading hentai mangas after a long time, as if they don’t affect me as much as the first.”
“It’s so ironic that she still has sex with him in the convent.”
“It reminds me of one episode of Grey’s Anatomy where the Asian doctor has to deal with a pervert patient.”
As members of this present society, we know that the discussion about sex is a taboo (which reminds me of how straightforward one user of Radiusim puts in his status: Missin’ damn SEX! And used it for several days) Whatever. But that time was so guilt free we don’t care. Besides, the conversation took off not for the purpose of shaming ourselves in public but for the sake of fun and active interchange of ideas and opinions. Believe me.
As we get ourselves nearer to the start of the line, Revo expressed his sudden discovery of a brilliant thought.
“You know? I have decided. . . After careful thinking and considering. . . That I don’t want to get married.”
Our gaze darted from the distant buildings to Revo’s East Asian face crowned with a messy, highlighted hair styled in the F4 fashion.
His sister’s face went blank. “What?”
“Yes. Look. Marriage will suck the life out of me and I don’t want that. I don’t want to be burdened with stubborn kids and a nagging wife.”
I was supposed to say “You don’t want to have a wife. Yeah. You never had a girlfriend, right?” But instead I said “What are you going to do then?”
“I will just have to multiply,” he said with a big, meaningful smile.
“Multiply. You mean you are going to raise as many skirts as you can, impregnate women and abandon them?”
“No. When I feel the heat, I’ll just go to H Spas.”
“Heat, huh?” his sister chuckled.
“Or perhaps you can try the Unicorn.” I suggested. I still don’t get his meaning of multiply though.
“Nah. I heard the Unicorn isn’t that recommendable anymore. And besides why would you spend so much in H Spa and Unicorn when you can get some from See You and the Solace College?” BF asserted with a rising-and-falling accent like that of Kris Aquno.
Revo beamed. “Whoa! See You!”
“I heard it has a lot of really beautiful attractions.” I said, with an internal crack! and ouch! in the background.
“You betcha, my dear friend. If you have enough cash, you can get the best.”
“I doubt if they’re safe though.”
“Why do girls do that?” Revo asked with an innocence so weird I want to laugh and say “Duh?!”
“For tuition fees and other expenses,” I answered.
“Ooh! Money really makes the world go round.” He thought intently then suddenly raised his head. Another manifestation of the discovery of a brilliant thought.
“That’s why I really have to be rich.”
It was BF’s reminder that put an end to our discussion. “Hey guys. Let’s stop this. Someone from See You might hear us.”
I sighed and looked back at the line of vans waiting to be filled with passengers. As I was resting my back on the railings, I saw a slim girl wearing a beige sleeveless dress that emphasizes her curves so perfectly well. I motioned BF to come closer and whispered “She’s so slim. I’m envious.”
She took a quick look at her. “Yeah - “
She stopped, moved her head a little bit sideward to get a better look of the girl’s face and suddenly turned her back. She motioned us to huddle.
“That girl was my classmate in high school.”
“So?”
“From what I know, she’s from See You.”
My jaw dropped.
As usual, Revo’s lost in space and asked in a rather late timing. “What’s the matter?”
I grabbed him by the arm and explained. “That girl was your sister’s classmate and she’s from See You.”
“What? You think she heard?”
“Guess. Hint: she’s just two feet behind us.”
“Aw!” the worried look on his face lasted for five seconds and the happy-go-lucky expression reemerged. “Anyway, let’s forget it.”
“Binangonan!”
The barker called out for passengers. We walked straight to the van and didn’t look elsewhere.
