Showing posts with label funny dialogues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny dialogues. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

13 Uses of a Small Bone Pillow

(In which my Lovely Solace becomes more creative.)


During the Christmas season, people are quite busy checking out gift items for loved ones out of the very limited time that they have. That is why we choose the most common gifts that do not really require much planning and thought like pillows. But you’d want to stay away from the very usual round and rectangular ones but wouldn’t want to give out hearts two months ahead of time so you’ll choose the very cuddly bone pillow. Not only is its softness proportionate to comfort and warmth, its mere presence suggests thoughtfulness minus the effort.

Now Sandy receives a very lovely little bone pillow from Teacher Glaiza which she obviously adores. She keeps on hugging it and thumbing it as if it’s the most precious thing ever when she doesn’t seem to use the drawing pad I gave her. Now there isn’t any intended trace of jealousy there. I found the pillow lovable too. But what is more lovable is the idea that Sandy found out during our class while she was hugging the pillow – that its uses are far beyond its being a pillow.

“Teacher! Look!” she told me in a manner that makes me imagine Archimedes.

“What?”

“First, this is a pillow for naps,” she said, then put the pillow on the table and bury her tiny face in it in an unquestionable display of comfort and contentment of a weary soul upon seeking refuge. Then she lifted her head and held the pillow in her hands. “Then it’s a tumbling toy!” she said gleefully as she tossed the pillow in the air, her smile widening every time she catches it. Then she paused and tapped the wall, creating a roll of bass sounds. “Then it’s sound of…” she thought for a moment but did not stop beating.

“Drums?” I asked.

“Yeah!” she said in her signature exuberance.

“Then if there’s a bad person, you can hit him with it. Or when a mosquito bit you, you can do this,” she said as she scratched her leg with the pillow.

After answering an activity, she felt bored and sleepy but I told her to study so she slapped her face with the pillow.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I need to wake up.”

Then upon realizing that she has just discovered a new use for the pillow, she smiled and shouted “Oh so many things!”

And the list went on. It got so interesting we have to write it down.

1. Pillow for naps
2. Tumbling toy
3. Drumstick for the wall
4. Weapon against bad guys
5. A mosquito bite scratcher
6. A slapper to wake you up
7. A fan
8. A dirt remover (Just scrub the dirt off and go!)
9. A punching bag
10. An improvised hunchback prop
11. Scratcher for the back (works perfectly when you’re playing a hunchback)
12. A dog bone when pretending to be a dog (which works as a pacifier too)
13. An arm exercise (attach the handle with the pencil and torture yourself with its weight and size while you’re writing)

When we’re done listing and she got tired of speaking, she asked me, “How many?”

“Thirteen.”

“Wow! So many!” she said as she tossed the pillow high up in the air. When she caught it, she paused and started thinking again.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Let’s Talk!

(In which I kept memories of our conversation.)



I used to get amazed at how people constantly misspell my name. So I had removed the doubled letters when my boss asked me for the name that they would display on my Teacher’s Account. But now it’s not the misspelling I am worried about. It’s how students pronounce it.

Student: Hi, Teacher! What’s your name?
Me: Rezzell. /Ree-zell/
Student: Oh hello, Reejuhr!
Me: No. It’s Ree-zell.
Student: Ok.

The next day...

Me: Hi!
Student: Hi Leejuhr!
Me: No. It’s Ree-zell.

The following day...

Student: Hi Leyzuhr!
Me: I told you it’s Ree-zell.
Student: Oh ok. Sorry.

Later on that day...

Me: Hi!
Student: Hi Reyzuhr!
Me: (Sigh)
***
In one of our role-playing activities, there was a time when I need to act as the interviewer and my student was the interviewee.

Me: What do you do in your company?
Student: I am doing the manager.

***
Students often read /s/ as /sh/. And I almost burst into laughter when my student committed that blunder.

Me:
What is the man doing?
Student:
He is shitting on the sofa.


***
I have been conducting level tests for students who want to study English through telephone. Here are some conversations that really made their mark.

Me:
How do you deal with stress?
Student:
I punch the wor.
Me:
You mean you punch the wall?
Student:
Yes.
Me:
Hmm.. Isn’t it painful? Doesn’t it hurt?
Student:
Huh?
Me:
Isn’t it painful? Like ‘ouch’?
Student:
Ahhh… It’s ouch but it’s okay!


***
Me: How many rooms are there in your house?
Student: There are five rooms. But I don’t live there now. I live in a laboratory.
Me: Oh.. You mean dormitory?
Student: Yes. Dormitory.
***
We were talking about past continuous tense so our topic is about accidents. I asked the student if he ever had an accident.

Me:
Have you ever had an accident?
Student:
Yes.
Me:
Hmmm… What happened?
Student:
I hit a truck.