Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Loser Writes

(In which I don’t seem to do anything correctly.)

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I have been running out of ideas worth blogging about lately. So this post is about how I have been screwing up in so many things.

Loser Issue #1: The Diary “Keeper”

I have decided to start keeping a diary for the sake of keeping records. (How lame is that?) And as what experience has taught me, I have also decided not to write personal things on that collection of thin and femininely colored sheets of paper which include my first crush and my first kiss and all the gossips around and my stand on those; because that kind of diary is never safe from my family’s curiosity. I never thought I mattered that much until I started keeping a diary. Now I know what to do if I want to feel some “love”.

And as always, the passion for writing with a pencil on that thick pink notebook only lasts for less than a week. I realized that a diary should contain juicy stuff anyway and keeping it safe means making the experience boring. And not writing on a regular basis will make it senseless. So far I have missed out on more than a couple of days.

Loser Issue #2: The Sleepless Reader with Very Little Progress

Those of you who have read my previous posts, (And I am sure you are not more than five) know that I have just finished reading The Master Butcher’s Singing Club and now I am on the last book on my shelf – The Year of Fog by Michelle Richmond. And guess what, after more than a week, I have finished reading forty-four pages! (I know that’s not a happy news.) Anyway, perhaps it’s because I don’t have any more books to read after I finish this, as if I can finish this soon considering that I am now considered a workaholic. And talking about the problem with the next book, I should be making my way to the bookstore soon, that is, if I have my motivation back and if my wallet can handle it.

Loser Issue #3: The Workaholic Teacher with Dissatisfied Students

Okay. The adjective that qualifies the word students has an invisible question mark. But not because it’s invisible means it’s not there. Here’s the thing: I have made a terrible mistake of forgetting to update the comments on one of my phone students’ comment box and followed the wrong page, which made me overlook that the book will be finished in less than two weeks. And the student’s mom has called and asked why I’m not reminding them that an order of the new book should be made to which I reasoned out that it’s not yet time, with the wrong page in mind.

So when I found out, I immediately made the request. However, we have already finished the book two days ago and now I am in a terrible state of covering up. I kept on telling her that the book has been ordered and that we can just review the old book while waiting for the new one for twenty minutes every day. It feels like talking about the same old topics you’ve been talking about the entire year since she doesn’t know how or like to handle a free talking session, which made me not to like it too.

And the responsible Judah has been exhibiting an unusual show of absenteeism lately. I know that he hates summer and considering that he came from a country with four seasons, it’s summer in the Philippines all year round. Well, I somehow feel guilty thinking that I have been usually late for our first class. And I was given this notion that either he’s getting even (which doesn’t sound like a good option since it’s his money he’s wasting) or he lost his interest in studying because of my terrible example. Oh for the love of God, somebody tell me it’s the first choice!

Now I am stuck in making a level up test for a grammar book which is so much worse than talking.


Loser Issue #4: The Great Pathetic Romantic Loser

Alvin kept on denying that he’s ignoring me but I’m nobody’s fool. My brain might betray me at times but my intuition will remain faithful. And it just so happened that I wanted to diminish the number of my friends on Radiusim from a senseless, whopping 400 to a reasonable 60+ with Alvin and his best buddy’s name out of the reasonable number. I did it. And I somehow felt light, happy even. But just lately I wondered what his status is. And now I’m thinking: should I delete his stupid number from my phonebook and his stupid profile from my Facebook?